Make 'em laugh, make 'em laugh, make 'em laugh!
by the Klabautermann
Summary: Sequel to "Hey hey, you you". The group is back with crazy adventures, including the curse of fanservice, Internet legends, silly references and more to come! Trying its best to remain canon, set before comic got serious. Contains slight Benny x Cale
1. Far Longer than Forever

**Sequel to "hey hey you you I want to be your girlfriend". Why? Because making those two uncomfortable is the utmost pleasure of mine. And because my inspiration on parody is growing.**

**Contains a bit of Cale x Benny purely for the canon, and a lot of weird. xD  
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* * *

><p>It was a bright shiny day. The sun was shining, the birds were chirping, and somewhere, in the distance, Snowhite was singing. That is just how beautiful the day was.<p>

At least for the rest of the world, that is. The Group, consisting of our beloved heroes - the elf, the undead, the unsorted green fan service, the dragon tackler, the singing dwarf and a black panther - has been leading a tense battle against a very powerful forest sprite; in their search for lost relics, which was but a mission given to them so they could earn for living, they happened to chop down a wrong tree to make themselves a shelter – apparently, the tree was a 200 years old home to a 199 years old sprite that looked like a wooden demonic old woman. And it wasn't happy his long-living home fell victim to their axes. Well, at least that is the story the sprite actually told them once it came out screaming frantically before attacking them.

„That thing simply won't DIE!" Krunch yelled out in frustration, as he once again tried to power-punch it from behind, and yet, it somehow saw him coming while trying – and succeeding - to fend off frontal attacks of a determined elf and furious, but still enchantingly hot green healer. Only this time, Benny's purpose was the exact opposite of healing.

„Boy, this is horribly fun to watch. " the undead warlock decided to comment, while comfortably sitting on a handmade hammock of feather and bear bones. He was getting better and better with his handicrafts.

„WARLOCK, if you DON'T drag you undead behind over here right now, I swear to Gods I'll KILL you!" Benny roared in pure rage, one more her spell but tackled the sprite, while it would usually turn the enemy to dust.

„I would like to see THAT happening. " Richard murmured, but finally got up. The sprite, obviously aware of the warlocks' powers, and the fact the battle might end bad for it, decided to finish it; he suddenly started to inflate, catching everyone by surprise. They all froze as the sprite increased to disgustingly big size: and then it suddenly let out a stream of energy, aiming straight for Cale.

„Oh, no way in Hell you will! " Benny yelled out frantically, and the perfect timing seemed to want both her and Richard to turn strong shield spells at the same time – it worked perfectly as the energy bounced straight back into the sprite, and to everyone's surprise, revealed its true form instead of destroying it.

The so-called sprite seemed to be a very old witch. So old, her face was almost barely human. She breathed heavily in fury as she crouched in the grass, trying to regain her strength.

"Any last words, granny?" Richard ask sweetly, while Benny held his shoulder as to stop him.

"Hold on, warlock. I want some answers. Why did you attack us? This can't be about that stupid tree." Benny checked the witch out suspiciously

"My child!" the witch suddenly gasped, her voice full of hatred and sadness.

"They… murdered my sweet little… my creation…"

"Quite possible." Richard admitted. Benny sighed.

"What are you talking about, witch?"

"My little cupid… of skin white as the milk, lips frail and red, and hair... pink as a gum!" the witch gasped, with pride, as if she were talking about an angel instead of creation.

"That is not quite flattering description, you know." Benny noticed. But Cale happened to notice the description, and glanced at Richard. He found that Richard was staring at him in surprise and shock, and realized they were thinking the exact same thing.

_That f***ing cupid._

"Step aside, Benny." Cale said coldly. So coldly, Benny automatically listened, before asking:

"W-what? Cale, what is going on?"

"The witch needs to die." Richard added, him and Cale now standing before the kneeling witch, ready to kill her.

Krunch, Pella and Benny exchanged looks in confusion. This wasn't an ordinary murder. These three somehow knew about each other from before.

"YOU!" seeing him up close, the witch seemed to recognize Richard although she never saw him in person before. Cale gulped, half nervous, half vengeful.

"Quite some magic you got there, old witch. It will be a pleasure to absorb your skills... as I drink your blood." Richard noticed darkly.

The witch suddenly cackled.

"If you wish to die, feel free to feast on my fluids, Lord Ash—AAAARGH!"

Before she revealed any details, that only Gods knew how she found out, Richard decided to break her arm with an easy, little finger spell. She faced them furiously, and suddenly, like a person in fever started to mumble countless words in great, inhuman speed. Richards' eyes widened.

"KILL HER!" he roared, a surprising note of worry in his voice, and both him and Cale were about to deliver a fatal blow.

"FAHN SERVITIUM!" the witch managed to yell out a curse before receiving the fatal blow, and suddenly everything was covered in strong, red and pink light followed by a white flash... then darkness.

* * *

><p>Hours passed. The group was lying on the grass, unconscious from the energy blow. The curse that hit Richard and Cale left them lying in the grass in a bundle. Krunch and Pella flew over the grass and almost crushed Benny, but luckily, she managed to move away from them before fainting. Sooba was looking more like it was asleep.<p>

The witch was nowhere to be seen. On her place lied her robes, and a big pile of sparkling, sandy dust.

Cale was the first to start shifting as he regained consciousness. He felt warm for some reason. Like a nice blanket was over him. Thinking his friends must've carried him away into tent and took care of him, he opened his eyes.

He was slightly more than horrified to see Richard lying on top of him – and Cale having his arms around him.

"WHAT THE-"

"Good mornin' sunshine." he heard Richards dark tone, as he just woke up.

Cale all but threw away the warlock off his chest, and stood up as fast as he could without making it look weird.

"Funny you should act like that after what happened with that bloody cupid." Richard noticed.

"Please don't remind me of that." Cale moaned as he stretched.

"What happened? And that witch! Richard, she was-"

"Yes. She is one of the people making the Shipping Cupids. I hope she rots in Hell. Then again, being the Lord of Thirteen Hells, I'll make sure she does."

"I guess we made the world a better place today then." Cale never felt so good about a person dying like at that very moment.

"Yeah, but I think something is not right."

"Oh? How so?"

"The witch put a curse on us. By some logic and rules of magic, she is the only one able to lift it."

"What kind of curse was it, anyway?"

"I'm not sure. It does ring a bell... 'Fan Servitium'... but I can't remember."

"It'll come to you. Lets check on others."

It didn't take long before everyone woke up. The night was nearing so they decided to leave the discussion for after the making of the camp. When they were finally able to sit down and eat, Richard decided to tell the rest of the group a made-up story of a witch whose daughter he killed (the daughter referring to the Shipping Cupid him and Cale swore not to tell about, ever) – as he always did with people – and that he had no idea he was dealing with a witch, or as he called her "dangerous, old loony".

"They are the worst kind!" was his explanation. The girls seemed to have bought that, and Krunch merely was interested in the witch and her magic and history; Cale and Richard were going to tell them anything but the actually story of a cupid that made the two... _fancy_, each other for that one horrible, _horrible_ day.

"I'm just glad that is over now. We could've been hurt warlock, if next time you don't help right away, I'll kick your bony white behind."

"I think my body figure is quite slim, thank you very much." Richard replied with a proud note.

"Hey Richard, pass me my bag please." Cale asked, pointing to the bag next to Richards feet.

"Well, OK, but only because you said please." Richard said as he lifted the bag. It was a bit heavy. When he turned towards Cale it slipped through his fingers, and both tried to catch it at the same time. It resulted in quite a cute scene of the two holding hands. Out of surprise, neither did anything to rid of each others touch, but they exchanged surprised looks.

The rest of the Group stared at them, and then cracked in a loud, deafening laugh.

"What?" the two asked, and moments later finally separated.

"You two looked SO cute right now!" Benny screamed laughing.

"Ye two sure ye aren't in a relationship after all, are ya?" Pella said through mumbled laugh.

Krunch decided to laugh some more; he couldn't stop himself, and his laughter started to sound ridiculously disturbing. It only made Pella and Benny laugh even louder.

"Cale."

Cale glanced at a very pissed off warlock.

"What? That wasn't my fault, I-"

"I know what the curse we were hit with is."

Cale fell silent, and group tried to do the same as they heard Richards' words.

"It... it is not anything serious, is it?" Cale asked, Benny's breathing stopped, and Krunch and Pella looked ready for the truth.

"Cale..." Richard sighed, and from some reason looked embarrassed. Richard looking embarrassed isn't an everyday sight, mind you.

"You know how those... I mean that little daughter of the witch was... 'obsessed' with...?"

"Yeah." Cale realized Richard didn't want to say anything in front of group, but he was referring to the Shipping Cupid the witch created – it fed on illusion of love it would created between two people that absolutely could not and never would not be together as lovers. Cale and Richard tried their best to forget about that event, but it wasn't that easy, when they even shared a kiss.

"Well... this witch is similar."

"Look you guys, you don't have to tell us details about what happened with witches daughter, but tell us about the curse!"

"It is a very silly and tiresome curse." Richard started before finally admitting:  
>"It is a curse called the Servant of Admirers, or how it is known among more common of folks, the Fan Service. It... It..." Richard looked truly ashamed for the first time ever as he turned around so he doesn't have to look at them.<p>

"It is cast upon two people, and those two people then, with the unwanted help of the universe, which curse is making available, constantly end up in some... _CUTE, SWEET, ROMANTIC _situations, much like what you saw here moments ago when we _held h-ha-hands_." the nice words he spoke out were full of disgust though.

Silence. Richard turned around. All three, Krunch, Pella and Benny, were engaging in silent, noiseless laughter, letting out but quiet sounds of gasping and shaking from unheard amusement. You know someone is laughing hard when they can't make a sound. Krunch even turned blue as he desperately tried to get some air.

"I hope you all die of lack of oxygen." Richard angrily murmured as he marched into his tent.

Cale, on the other hand, merely felt relieved. So, he'll have to put up with some more oddity until they find a way to solve it. It is definitely better than having your skin peeling off, dying in a painful manner, or having a brain of a chicken.

He jerked when the jolly trio finally found some air to laugh out very loud.

"I'll go check if he's OK."

"Don't go too close, you might hug him by accident!" Krunch cracked a weakly developed joke, but it was enough for another round of laughs.

Cale merely rolled his eyes.

* * *

><p>"Richard?"<p>

"You know, the last time you entered my tent with that tone and girly call for my name, we ended up doing stuff over which I would prefer murdering myself."

"Sorry." Cale grinned weakly.

"Do stay away from me please" Richard continued, standing in the furthest corner of the tent

"I have no intention of getting under any curse's might. To avoid any unnecessary bloodshed – although it is hardly ever unnecessary - we'll simply avoid each other for as long as we're cursed."

"What? That's absurd! You mean we can't be friend for the time being?"

"I was never your friend to begin with" Richard replied coldly. Usually, Cale would shrug off such a statement with a very simple explanation – Richard was Richard, and he hardly wanted to admit harboring of any kind of feelings towards anyone except his bunny.

But for some reason, those words left an uncomfortable feeling in his chest. He couldn't help but stare at Richard in disbelief.

Upon noticing his hurt stare, Richard sighed in despair.

"Oh elf, come on, you never look at me like that, no matter what I say."

"Yeah." Cale started to study the ground, upon which Richard groaned with frustration.

"It is obviously just the part of the bloody curse! We start to get each others words more seriously than before!" Richard tried to be rational.

"Oh. Well, alright but still, you might then refrain from such talk for the time being."

_This scene is just too much._

Richard sighed.

"I'll only say this to get you off of my back – you ARE my friend. Now beat it."

But Cale didn't move. Now it was Cale's move to let out a sound of frustration.

"Apparently, it bothers me that you obviously don't mean it." even Cale, though 'hurt', felt stupid about this.

"OH COME ON."

Richard marched over to the elf, with probably the most bloodthirsty look in his eyes ever, violently grabbed his shoulders as dangerously hissed into his face:

"You. _Are_. My. Bloody. Friend. If you don't get that into your silly pink head right now, I'll incinerate you."

Cale made a face as if he were thinking. Or in this case, trying to realize how he felt about the statement.

"Apparently I'm all good."

Silence.

"You can let go of me now."

"... didn't I?"

"Please tell me your eagerness to hold me like this IS a part of the curse?"

For his courage to ask such a question, Cale earned a fresh burn on his shoulders before Richard realized he should let go.

"We will have SO much fun with this curse, I can already see it coming."

"You better be joking, or Benny will have to resurrect you again WITH that centipede."

"Well, I was mostly talking about Benny, Krunch and Pella. I doubt you and me will have any fun with it."

"Why am I being punished?" Richard suddenly wailed dramatically.

"All I did was joke around the fact Elf is a girly person. Why did I do to deserve this?"

"You deserve a lot worse things you know." Cale muttered.

"Oh for what?"

"How about brutally killing half of population you see?"

"You really found a good time to comment my hobby after such a long time of putting up with it!"

Cale facepalmed.

"You did ask what you were being punished for, you know."

Richard wordlessly stared at Cale, and it took elf a moment to realize a dangerous purple aura of epic fury was surrounding the ever so proud-wounded warlock.

"I'll be going now." Cale finally nonchalantly said as he left Richard to incinerate whatever he can find.

* * *

><p>"Psst! Hey, Cale!"<p>

He shifted a bit, but he remained asleep. The voice sounded only half like Richards. There was a familiar other, somewhat womanly tone to it.

"Oh God, go away Rich-" he mumbled in his sleep.

"_Oh you know you don't want me to._"

Cale's eyes snapped open and he saw the warlock crawling over him in the most inappropriate fashion with a desperately hungry look in his eyes.

… Were those eyelashes?

"_How about a kiss, sugar?_"

"AAAAAARGH!"

"CALE!"

He finally found the Godly strength to wake up from the horrifying dream. On the entrance of his tent stood Benny, calling his name.

"Gosh, you're finally awake! I've been calling you for the past whole minute!"

Cale realized his forehead was slightly covered in sweat, and he was breathing deeply. Was that a result of a nightmare, or what should've been, but thankfully wasn't, a _wet dream_, he couldn't tell.

"S-sorry. I had a err... slightly bad dream."

"Aww, you poor baby." her voice was suddenly smooth and womanly as she slithered in the tent and closed it behind her.

"You see, I couldn't sleep so I though I might pay you a little _visit_. Apparently, you need one." she purred sweetly. It was enough to ban thoughts of the dream out of Cale's head.

"Well, why didn't you say so right away." he replied as manly as his voice allowed as she sat next to him and caressed him gently. The things got hotter as she pushed him to the ground and stared at him seductively, until she asked:

"How about a kiss, sugar?"

A minute or so later, Benny angrily left the tent as Cale tried to put himself to sleep with still freshly imprinted mark of Benny's slap on his cheek.

"What the Hell happened to you?" Krunch and Cale were doing what every real man does with another man – a morning leak and cute chit-chats during it. Cale's right cheek was still red and slightly swollen.

"Long story. Well, more of a sad one, really, but I prefer to keep it to myself."

"Does it have to do with Benny's glares and her accidental loss of your underpants in a campfire?"

"Very subtle, isn't she?" Cale murmured, thinking what a beautiful time he might've had last night if it weren't for that stupid dream about-

"I made a most formidable discovery last night; sleeping on the feathery bed is much more comfy than the bears pelt! " Richard greeted them all unusually cheerfully. It only made Cale feel worse.

"I even had colorful dreams. Mostly colored red, but that's a story for another time."

"Ye people be ready? We need to go into the Nether Caves." Pella called to them, trying to avert her eyes from the unpleasant view of men doing their morning duty.

"Well, we're on the road again." Krunch said as he finished.

"And remember elf – no. Contact." Richard warned Cale from the safe distance before leaving him alone in his bush-bathroom.

* * *

><p>The cave was dark. Unnaturally dark. And unnaturally here means, even Richards and Benny's spells of light, and usually strong light too, were barely enough too see where they were walking. It most likely had a spell over it, but that meant something was hidden here – might as well be what they were looking for.<p>

"Stand close to each other, and DON'T. WANDER. AWAY." Krunch warned, and gave especially dangerous look to Richard, who shrugged it off. The fact he had to stand close to Cale was uncomfortable enough, and it became a bigger problem the moment they accidentally brushed each others shoulders.

"NO. I can walk by myself, thank you very much!"

"Warlock, NO!" Benny hissed and reached for his arm, and just as she got her fingers around his skinny arm she tripped. Instead of falling on the floor, she kept falling somewhere down, pulling Richard with her– where to, wasn't impossible to say in this dark.

"BENNY!" Cale yelled out in horror, and managed to catch her free hand, but wasn't prepared for the weight, and got pulled down as well. The three of them disappeared into the dark abyss bellow, with Krunch, Pella and Sooba helplessly watching them. But as they stared into the spot where they disappeared, they did notice a strange occurrence – their yelling suddenly stopped, and nothing was heard – not even the sound of their fall. Krunch felt an urge to try and touch the hole they fell through – only to discover there was no hole or abyss to begin with.

"That was a short fall, wouldn't you agree?" Richard gleefully noticed.

"Shut up, warlock."

"Whoever is touching my knee in an awkward manner, stop it now." Cale was heard.

It was pitch dark. They all got up and stood one next to another to form a circle, their back inwards, and looking into the dark.

"I saw this kind of magic before" Benny said "the more light we produce, the darker it will actually get, and then a dark hole appears; whoever falls in gets transferred in a random spot in the cave. We might be close or far, but I think we got pretty far away from them, unfortunately."

"Are we supposed to sit here then and wait till we die?" Richard noticed grimly.  
>"I can hurry the process of dieing if you wish."<p>

"Actually" Benny replied, a note of annoyance in her voice "In time, when the spell realizes there is no any source of light, it will start revealing the cave to us – it can take a while though, so all we can do is sit and wait."

And so they did, sitting in the dark in awkward silence, with Richard and Cale on the edge about the curse, and Benny still angry.

"Look, Benny" Cale started "I'm really sorry about... you know."

"Shut up. Now is not the time to talk about that."

"Oh I think it is the perfect time." Richard randomly added "There is no better way to have privacy than in a dark cave. Whatever you two might discuss I will find out anyway." that last words sounded mocking.

Benny's teeth grinding sounded strong in dark silence.

"I can't believe you threw me out!" she finally spat out.

"I had no other choice!" Cale tried.

"How in the world is 'having a headache' meaning not having a choice?" she roared.

"Wowowow. Cale!" Richard sounded surprised, and slightly disapproving.

"You told you you have a 'headache'? That excuse is older than the first corpse I forced to walk the lands."

"But.. I can't really tell you, any of you..." Cale sounded shy.

"Can't tell me what? If I don't attract you anymore, you should've said so! Simple as that, there is nothing I can do!" Benny sounded almost very embarrassed and desperate; and above all angry, and that tone of hers was what brought Cale to the point where he had to say atl east SOMETHING.

"I had a very, very VERY weird dream, OK? And then you said something that reminded me of it, and I simply wasn't in the mood anymore!"

Silence.

"Elf, just what in the name of everything could have you dreamed of that turned you away from enjoying a night full of hard and fun work making handicrafts?"

If they could've seen each other, both Benny and Cale knew they would be staring at Richard in disbelief. Ignoring his lack of knowledge about intimacy, Cale replied:

"None of your business."

"Tell me right now Cale, or I swear to Gods..."

"I can't! It is too private! It is too... embarrassing!"

"Do I have to enter your mind and dig through your thoughts so we can find out?" Richard gleefully asked, and Cale sensed a bony hand on his head.

"OK, FINE! I'll tell you, just don't do anything!"

Once again, silence took over, and only Cale's desperate breathing was heard before he started:

"Well... it has to do with that bloody curse." was the first thing he had to say in order to prepare them. He could practically hear Benny smirking and relaxing, as she sensed something hilarious and not at all serious on the way; the warlock, on the other hand, got upset, which he clearly announced as he suddenly said loudly, with his usual disapproving tone followed by slight panic:

"I think we should respect your privacy after all! You deserve some, I guess."

"No, no, continue Cale. After all, we can't have secrets between us, now can we?" she purred. Richard let out an annoyed sound.

"Ugh, I dreamed Richard came to my tent and called for me..."

Benny snickered. Richard hummed something that was probably supposed to be comforting him as he listened to the most horrible scenario that ever happened in a dream, and cave's silence got replaced with a strong, hearty laughter.

"_Somewhere, over the rainbow, far far away,  
>there's a land I have killed in,<br>many times, hunted my prey_..."

* * *

><p>"Ye sure we should be sittin' in dark like this?"<p>

"If I remember my studies right, and I always do, yes."

Thanks to Krunch's memory of an elephant, Pella, him and Sooba were alreadyin the process of lifting the spell, and soon enough, the spell lifted, and Cave was lightened by faint, golden light of an undefinable source.

"Now to find Benny and those idiots. Hopefully they aren't too far away." just as Krunch said those words, a loud, strong laughter shook the walls of the cave. Krunch smiled as he hear a familiar laughter that he had heard so many times.

* * *

><p>"So what were you laughing at anyway?" Krunch asked as they all left the cave about two hours later. There was no sign of any relics or treasure, but they did find a note saying 'gottcha!'.<p>

"Oh, Cale was telling me a funny story." Benny merely said. Cale sighed with relief, until she added:

"I'll tell you over a nice warm campfire and some food." and gave an amused look to Richard. He looked away.

"One day, when you least expect it, you'll wake up with your hair shaven." he said, so darkly one would've thought he was speaking of murder.

"I'll be prepared." she cackled, earning more odd looks from Krunch and Pella.

Cale facepalmed, and felt a bony hand of compassion on his left shoulder.

"You and I are in for some long, long, LONG days of laughs."


	2. totheark

**Chapter two! Now 20% cooler and with more references than ever!**

* * *

><p>Time is a relative thing. Depending on ones life circumstances, an hour could pass in about five minutes, or last for an extra hour. It is mostly measurable by how much a person is enjoying something. It is a well known law of Murphy that if you're having a good time, it'll pass way too soon. On the other hand, if you rather wish to die than spend whatever amount of time in a certain situation, it'll pass approximately never.<p>

Three days had passed. It was more than enough to turn Richard into a paranoid, joyless and pretty weakened bag of bones. He completely gave up handicrafts, and killing radnom animals didn't make him happy anymore. Cale pretty much turned into a girl. Although he was alright with putting up with the curse in the beginning, he never experienced as much of embarrassing as he did on those three days. Now, he flushed whenever anyone and not only Richard, even touched him, which made his night sessions with Benny often very funny for her.

So it was probably a breaking point for both of them when they got shackled and tied to each other, back to back, thrown into a darkest part of cave, heavy steel door closing behind them and locking up. The full contact of their back made the both shiver either from disgust or embarrassment. Their hands were shackled together, left to right and right to left hand, so one couldn't use them without the other ones cooperation.

"Cale..." Richards started in an unfamiliar raspy voice that lacked any of its usual suave dignity it held.

"Richa-..." Cale replied in acknowledgment with the highest note of his voice, his weakness disabling him from finishing a sentence.

"I need to kill... I can't... anymore..."

"R-Richard?"

"... urgh..."

"RICHARD?"

Cale felt a tug on his back as warlock collapsed, his head landing between his knees.

* * *

><p><em>2 Days Earlier...<em>

"Exactly. Right it is."

"Listen to me, you stupid old cow – we're supposed to follow the rock in the shape of a tall winged pony with a horn, it is clear as day. I mean just LOOK at it!"

The "rock" stood proud. Someone had drawn a pair of mocking squinty eyes and a very self satisfied grin with tar on its head. It's tarred toothed smile practically got wider as wise cow and green female of unknown pedigree bickered.

"Yes, but it is clearly showing us to go to the right!"  
>"Are you blind? It's horn is pointed to the left!"<p>

"Its hoof is lifted as if it were going to turn right – obviously, you miss the important clues. As always, you're not thinking this through!"

"Don't ye be thinking its tail and mane are be flowing towards that path? Winged ponies are guided by the wind, so we should follow the direction mane and tail be flowin' to." Pella pointed to a whole third direction.

It got the old cow thinking.

"Oh, NOW you're thinking about another possibility? What about MY suggestion?"

"Her makes more sense! It is about the depth of solution, you wouldn't know about that."

"You're always looking for deep stuff where there should only be the very OBVIOUS!"

The three continued to argue where should they turn in front of the very trolling pony statue; it may have been his imagination, but Cale got the feeling its drawn smile was even wider now.

Richard was sitting on a nearby rock and fuming.

"Shall we already? You three have been arguing for an hour!" he mumbled.

"Shut up, warlock!" the three simultaneously yelled out and got back to arguing.

Cale felt a poke on his shoulder. Richard tugged on the material of his cloak.

"I'm bored, and I don't have any idea for a handicraft." he said, like a little child demanding a playmate.

Cale sighed.

"Fine. What do you want to do?"

"Let's take whatever path and go adventuring!" he said with a note of joy.

Cale's eyebrow arched.

"You sure? I mean-"

"I'll be extra careful not to get too close to you."

"You said the same thing yesterday, and I woke up to find out you sleepwalked into my bed."

"I'll forgive you this time for bringing that up if you kindly shut the Hell up and take me adventuring."

"Fine, fine! Let's go!"

The two didn't even bother to try sneaking past the very occupied bunch, and moved into a direction where the pony rock pointed with a horn.

* * *

><p>"We're lost."<p>

"ARGH."

It didn't take the two too long to wander off the path – especially considering that path was made for people to get lost specifically. But the true blame was on Richard who wanted to hop after anything that moved in hopes it will be a killable human being.

"Richard, what is it that you're looking for?" Cale asked irritably when the warlock burned down he whole tree.

"_People_! I haven't killed or taste- I mean, I haven't killed people or anything remotely humanoid in so long! I_ need_ it!"

"Richard, it's been a day. You incinerated that witch, remember?"

"She does not count, she was on my list since forever!"

"A few days ago isn't-"

Richard awaited, but nothing. Not even a "thud" or a "crack" to acknowledge Cale fell or tripped. He turned around. Cale didn't move an inch. In fact he didn't move at all. He wasn't blinking or breathing. Richard thought of the petrifying spell, but then he noticed Cale's face expression turning very, very slowly into a reflection of purest horror. Richard never saw such horror upon anyones' face.

The warlock looked around. He didn't see or sense anyone. This part of forest was quiet though. He cursed for not noticing the silence. All the frustration got his attention messed up.

Then, before he was capable of doing anything, he felt a weird sensation over his body and his sight went black for what seemed like a second. The next thing he knew, he was staring at Cale from a few feet away, the elf being unconscious, leaning on a wall behind him – his face was still stuck in expression of fear. They were on a whole different location that looked like a big entrance into a cave.

Richard uncomfortably noticed he was on all fours for some reason. Probably has fallen.

"You look a bit startled, Cale." he addressed the frightened, sleeping elf with a somewhat amused tone, but his eyes reflected slight concern. He never experienced what happened right now. The Sun was in a noticeably lower position than before, suggesting some time has passed since the moment he saw Cale getting freaked out by whatever, and them both being transferred... or dragged, over here. Which meant, his memories were missing. He figured the only reason he was awake, unlike Cale, was because he had a much stronger will power against magical influences.

He wanted to get up... and before he even tried, out of the corner of his eye, he noticed a pair of footless legs, slightly on his left. Like black columns, seemingly rising out of the Earth itself.

Richard looked up slowly. Long, long, inhuman black legs. Long, long arms that reached the knees, hanging like lifeless tentacles they were, blacker than night. Unnaturally tall and slender body. A black suit, a white shirt underneath. A black tie.

And a faceless, completely blank white-skinned head. Staring.

* * *

><p>"Where the Hell could they go?" Benny mumbled, fighting the black branches and countless bushes on her path. The group decided to go to the direction the statue was apparently walking towards.<p>

"If we took a wrong path, we might've lost them for real this time." Krunch replied, a detectable note of concern in his voice.  
>"Well, if ye two were not so disagreeable on th' right path choice, the two might still have be here." Pella tried to reason. In turn she only got two frustrated growls.<p>

"The Sun will be gone soon. Gid..." Krucnh started. Benny stood as as statue, not looking at any of them.

"We'll make a camp here. Those idiots are probably OK. Even if they are in trouble, Richard can pull himself out of anything."

Krunch fell silent. A different kind of silence. Secretive one.

"Is there something you're not telling me, father?"

Krunch sighed.

"Let's set up a camp. We might need a lot of light this night. Until the Sun rises."

_Some time later..._

"Benny, there IS something, but... it is only a legend. I never even thought of mentioning it... even now I feel uncomfortable doing so."

"Just tell us already." Benny and Pella got comfortable after setting up a small camp, and starting an unusually big campfire – but Krunch specifically told them it has to be much bigger.

Krunch sighed, then started.

"There is a legend about a man. Well... some say it used to be a man. Some speak of it as an abomination, a failure of life itself. Others say it is work of a curse, or a powerful spell. Stories speak of it as a lot of things: the devil, the Nether mob, spawnation of Hell... but the most well known story tells about the being that was accepted nowhere – not in Heaven, in Hell, or in our world. But, us being weaker than any divine life forms, or devil's servants, the Being got settled here... among the weakest. Its goal unknown, its existence still without a point for us... the story of-"

* * *

><p>"Slendy!" Richard felt tears of joy running down his face as he wrapped his skinny arms around the soft suit his old friend wore. The being gently and slowly positioned its tentacles around Richard's back, barely touching him in process, almost like it was merely mimicking a hug. Richard's head barely reached the beings' chest, it was that tall.<p>

"My, how long has it been since I last saw you? It must've been a century at least! What, century and a half? Gosh, times flies so fast! Oh, I missed you so!" he allowed himself to squeeze the tall being one more time before stepping back, wipping the tears from his eyes, and checking his friend out.

"I must say, you look much more frightening and eerie than you were when I last saw you! DO tell, what is the secret of that wonderful figure? Babies and children? Aww man, I totally hear ya!"

The two kept "chatting", though the being didn't emit any noises a normal person could hear. But then again, Richard never was normal. An hour passed before Cale woke up – he froze when he saw the suited being sitting down with Richard next to him, both of them in what seemed like a very friendly, and almost fluffy chat. His jaw dropped slightly and he felt his cheeks getting hot and red. He felt a sting of annoyance when Richard let out the most delightful laugh on something the creature was apparently saying.

"Oh, he's awake. Shut up, Slendy, it is not funny! We have no bloody idea how will we get rid of that curse. But, we're working on it."

"R-Rich-Richard-" Cale started, the fear so obvious in his eyes Richard had to laugh.

"Oh don't worry Cale, Slendy here was just fooling around with us! Wanted to surprise me, and boy he did!"

"Uhh..." Cale wouldn't be lying if he said he was more scared of Richards' unusual friendly attitude and very casual type of speech. It was very unlike him.

"Richard, are you sure you're not under a spell?"

"Aww, no man, it's just- I'm so excited to see him! The last time I saw him, your grandparents were probably born!"

"Ah..."

"But man, he sure scared_ you_. Slendy says people usually wake up minutes after being taken."

"_Taken_?"

"Yeah, you see that's what Slendy does." Richard started explaining through the giggles.

"Takes people away, leaves a blank spot in their memory, screws around with their sanity, and pretty much scares the living soul out of people! Sometimes literally! You know, fun stuff!"

"Fun?"

"Ah well, you wouldn't understand it." both the tall man and Richard got up.

"But Slendy here told me he's been getting lonely. Some guy names Alessius often comes to these parts to paint for some project of his... Stone Wasps, was it? And no matter how hard Slendy tries to get him to paint him and befriend him, the guy keeps running away! And Slendy likes his art too! He's a bit of a collector, you see."

"Richard, that doesn't make any sense to me, and I don't really care either. What the Hell is that... that THING, anyway?"

Shock fell over Richard's face, and the next minute, Cale could've sworn he never saw Richard being so angry. But right away in the next moment, Richard, with a comforting face expression, turned to Slendy – who sadly hung his head.

"Slendy~ come on, don't be like that! He's just a silly elf, he doesn't know better!"

"Hey, I can hear you!"

"He can hear YOU too, you know! Slendy is not a _thing_!"

Cale sighed.

"Fine, fine, I'm sorry, I really am. It is just that... he scared the _Hell_ out of me!"

Slendy started playing with his tie.

"You got him shy – he rarely gets any compliments you see. He also says he accepts your apology."

"Good. Now, umm... can we get back, somehow? _Please_?"

"No can do, I'm afraid. I want to stay with Slendy for a while."

"Richard~" Clae moaned in frustration.

"Hmm? What is that?" Richard look at Slendy as faceless creature seemed to have been telling him something. Cale sighed and tapped his foot.

"Slendy says night is coming soon, and that we're welcome to spend a night in this cave if we wish. Oh, thank you for hospitality my friend!" he gave him another firm hug, which the being this time returned a bit more eagerly. Then it's faceless head turned to Cale.

Cale felt his heart beat furiously. The curse was working again, this time making him jealous. He tried to control his breath, but he felt himself getting angrier and angrier as the being in suit wrapped its tentacles around Richard, and he couldn't escape the feeling Slendy was challenging him, mocking him...

_Richard loves my hugs... he gives me hugs... and he is repulsed by your touch... little elf..._

The awareness of what is real started to slip away, as imaginary words played in his head; Cale got convinced that this abomination _did_ look at him, challenged him, making him jealous on purpose...

"Leave him ALONE!" he suddenly screamed, and grabbed one of Richard's bony arms. Slendy practically didn't even show a reaction, merely slowly outstretching his tentacle arms towards Cale, who was pulling Richard into the depths of the cave running as fast as he could with surprising amount of strength. Slendy didn't make an effort to chase them. Not yet.

"Elf? What the bloody Hell are you-"

"I'm not letting- not letting anyone-" Cale gasped but never quite fully finished the sentence. The light was getting weaker and weaker as Cale ran deeper into the cave. He passed a few crossroads, randomly picking out tunnels. The dark was getting thicker.

"Cale, you idiot! Stop before you bring us to your premature death! Slendy said that deep parts of the cave are-"

Almost as if someone waited for those words, Cale lost his footing, tripping over something, but not by his fault – he and Richard rolled down the tunnel, falling over as they fell deeper and deeper into the cave, down the rocks, dust and moss... Cale soon lost conscience, and Richard was getting fatigued, though he didn't know why... then he realized a spell was in the air, sucking out all the magical energy out of him.

"No." he gasped his last word, before being knocked out unconscious. The last thing he heard was a terrifying roar of an unknown beast from the cave's depths.

* * *

><p><strong>In case you have no idea who Slendy actually is, you probably haven't spent enough time on the Internet. :D<br>****Check out Marble Hornets series on YouTube for your monthly dose of fear and looking behind your back anywhere you go. And to find out Slendy's identity too, of course. xD While there are many theories, Marble Hornets is the one we rely on today.**


	3. Distortion Language and Blue People

Richard awoke with a gasp. He, oddly enough, had a nightmare. It included a lot of blood, violence and torn limbs.

Oh wait, that was the good part.

Oh yes, then Cale appeared dressed in the most delightful apron and served him cupcakes. It would even be fine if Cale was wearing something under that apron of his. And if he wasn't feeding him.

Richard was in a somewhat spacious room – still in a cave, but it was obvious that someone took extra care to make the walls straight, the floors clean and put up a torch on the entrance – the torch didn't help much though, as it was on the other side of the rusty bars and behind a wall. Its light barely into the dungeon Richard was in.

His head felt like it was being hit with a sledgehammer – a pretty bothersome sensation he haven't felt in quite some time. It took him a few moments to realize he was chained to a table. Probably a torture room. His eyes quickly grew used to the dark.

"Nothing brings back memories like being chained down to a table." he murmured to himself, and tried to get rid of the shackles. Whoever chained him down also took care in having his very skinny wrists secure tightly.

All of a sudden, a shriek so high and so full of agony broke the eerie silence that even Richard had to get startled. He recognized it as Cale's and genuinely got worried – usually, Cale's screams made him laugh, and it was "good times", but right now he was chained to a table with no power, and Cale was screaming because he was being done God knows what. Cale may be in serious trouble, and if he died...

Another scream. Richard glanced at the jewel on his chest. He concentrated. The jewel shined a faint light. Whatever spell it was that stopped his magical abilities, it wasn't powerful enough to drain ALL of his powers.

He notices he had trouble performing and kind of spell as he tried to make the shackled fall apart. Oh well, he didn't have a challenge in quite a while.

It took him a full minute before shackles fell, and he rose to his feet. Immediately he felt dizzy. He had no idea what or who the spell source might be. For some reason, the "table" he was on was barely two apples tall.

The barred gate was, surprisingly, opened. He sneaked out and proceeded quietly down the hall, surprised he wasn't meeting anyone. The scream was heard again, this time louder. Richard hurried, going further and faster, soon realizing he was running when the scream ripped through the air again and as he took a turn-

And then he stopped.

While it was not the first thing he noticed, this room, despite being in a cave, was different, like a temple. Not too wide, but very tall, with many, at the moment extinguished, torches, and way on the top, a small, barely seen window that let in the moonlight, which was surprisingly strong enough to reach to exactly the middle of the room. It's walls were bricked with huge, well made strong bricks. The corners decorated with pretty statues. Each of the four walls of the room had an entrance, tall, wide decorated passages into other parts of the cave.

But what really mattered, was the things that occupied the room.

Ten, twenty, fifty... hundreds... of beings he couldn't quite classify, yet he had feeling he saw them at least once before. They were all small. Very small. One would barely reach his knee. And they were all as blue as the sky on a cloudless sunny day. They wore lovely white hats and pants. But worst of all... it was very obvious that these abominations were clearly what a good deal of the normal human population would find... _cute._

The creatures completely surrounded Cale on the table lit with torches, similar to one Richard was on. Cale was tied up, and his torso was bare. On his body, two of the small disgustingly cute creatures were tap dancing. God knew why. The rest of the blue crowd was cheering, clapping, dancing or even singing. A small group of them in the back was making music. The whole scenery was so... delightful. It made Richard sick.

"Make it stop~~!" Cale shrieked, unable to cope with the amount of lovely in the room. At least that was Richard's conclusion, but he decided to see what was Cale actually upset about.

"Oh, smurf this guy, he has no taste in music whatsoever!" one of the creatures said grumpily.

"Come on, big elf girl, don't be such a smurf; smurf with us! You'll smurf it!" a single female specimen of the creatures approached Cales' head and gave him a kiss on the forehead.

"NO! Leave me alone! I don't want to be a part of you!"

"EVERYBODY wants to be a part of Smurfs!" one of them, old, and dressed in red lectured Cale with a darling smile. He got up on the "torture table" and talked to the audience:

"Smurfed be this day, for we have a smurfcomer! And a female as well!"

"I am a man, you blue dorks!"

"And the one with sense of humor too! I can already see your name, your Smurf name shall be Funny Smurf!"

"Leave me alone~~" the tears formed in Cale's eyes and freely trickled down his face.

"Once the ceremonial part is over, you'll pass through the smurfine ritual of Smurfinication!"

Cale started sobbing. Not quietly, or restrained, but loudly, with no shame, looking more pathetic than ever.

"And then, by the power of Smurf, you shall become one of the Smurfs, you shall be granted our body, out mind and a piece of Smurfs' soul! Only then you shall experience Smurfana!"

The crowd started cheering, their attention solely on the broken Cale and apparently deeply respected smurf in red. By the time they started the music again, Richard was still just standing, trying to absorb it all, trying to allow it to sink into his conscience as fast as possibly – no such luck.

Cale was sobbing louder and louder. The warlock felt his blood freeze as he observed elf's pathetic face, his body cramping as he tried to get rid of the ropes. It was painful. For the first time in his hundred years old life/afterlife, Richard couldn't stand seeing someone suffer. Slowly, very slowly, after minutes of long shock, he came to... and the blood started to boil. His eyes, usually sunny yellow, gained a red, bloody shine. The crystal on his chest glowed, stronger, and more powerful.

Cale screamed, his eyes closed shut, his face an expression of desperation, oblivious to anything but the horrible future that was about to be given to him.

"RICHARD!"

A strong red light filled the room in waves, passing through the whole room several times. The sound of crunching bones and tearing skin was mixed with fresh, surprised and most satisfying of all, agonizing screams of blue creatures in white. The light subdued slowly. Even though the room was now in almost complete dark, the moonlight managed to reach enough to shed light on just what a wonderful shade of red the room got - but definitely not from the light that was no longer emitting from Richard's jewel. His robes were soaked in blood, his face slightly sprinkled. He marched towards Cale, ignoring the sticky and slippery blood under his feet and bones his robe was dragging along with him. Standing right above Cale with a snap of fingers he freed him of ropey bonds. Cale was surprisingly not covered in much blood. He passed out.

Richard picked him up bridal style. Surrounded by pool of blood, chunks of meat and piles of bones, the moonlight threw an eerie kind of light on him. He studied Cale's face. It was torn apart, yet relieved. Who knew for how long have those guys been torturing him, to leave him in a state like this? Trying to convert him, turning him into something so disgustingly cute, incorrigibly moral, and something so horribly determined of their own beliefs, they couldn't allow anything else to coexist.

For the first time ever, Richard felt the power of compassion.

And then, for reasons the usually emotionless warlock couldn't understand, he felt the Fan Servitium curse raise. Surprisingly enough, he still felt compassionate. But he would ponder his newly acquired ability to do so later – they had to get out of here.

And he was ready to do so, even if he had to blast the whole cave open – what he did not expect though, was countless, much more than just hundreds red lit eyes in the dark passages around him. He turned around in panic, several times, not being able to take in what he was seeing. His power was still half subdued, and it would take time until he could have his full power back. Usually he would brag that half of his power was more than enough – but he was terrified. The cute creatures got closer and closer, their eyes brightly red, and he could hear their whispers:

"Smurf is the way to go... Join the Smurfs and you'll have your place in Smurfirise forever..."

"Smurf..."

"Smurf!"

"Smurf, smurg, smurrrrffggrrrraaaaah..."

The cute creatures started letting out weird noises, almost like the undead brainless minions. The advanced slowly, and mercilessly.

"You need to be taught a smurfing lesson." came the voice of Smurf in red, whom Richard could swore he obliterated moments ago. He just stood, petrified, and feeling utterly defeated, and utterly thirsty for blood at the same time, awaiting his unavoidable destiny.

* * *

><p><em>Back to present...<em>

The whole night was spent with in agony – the same agony Cale went through. Cale was luckily without conscience, so at least he didn't have to go through it again. And Richard was actually happy about it. He wasn't cursed anymore, yet he felt happy for him. Because he couldn't wish this kind of torture on anyone even remotely dear or at least a tiny bit likeable.

Being tougher nut to crack than Cale, he managed to survive all of the "smurftastic" expressions, songs, dances and whatnots during the "ceremonial" part. But in his mind, he was falling apart. He couldn't even bring to himself to THIN about murder and blood he usually loved so much. They just wouldn't let him think. Their song, their manner of speech was thinking for him.

"We'll let you two have a smurfy rest – tonight, we begin with your smurituals, and you'll finally learn of smurfiness!"

And with those words, the two were put into a dungeon, shackled and tied to each other, back to back, their hands shackled together, left to right and right to left hand, so one couldn't use them without the other ones cooperation. They both shivered. No, not from disgust over one each other – but from hatred, fury, mental pain and overall feeling like dying.

"Cale..."

"Richa-..."

"I need to kill... I can't... anymore..."

"R-Richard?"

"... urgh..."

"Richard?"

The warlock collapsed, slightly tugging Cale, and his head falling between his knees.

"Richard! Oh Gods, please, please don't give up on life—after life- whatever! Richard! DICK!"

No response. But he could still feel the slight movements. Like shaking. Cale winced.

"HELP!" he yelled, not knowing who he was calling for. But he didn't want to end this way. He didn't want Richard to end this way. Richard didn't deserve this. After all, this was Cales' fault. Oh Gods, this was his fault! He would never get rid of this horrible guilt!

"PLEASE HELP US! HELP~ SOMEBODY! ANYBODY!"

He cried, shutting his eyes firmly and letting his head fall between his knees, much like Richard.

He blinked trying to clear his vision, and then he saw something, that wasn't before his eyes seconds ago. Two footless legs. Rising from the earth itself. Like two black columns. He looked up. And then he laughed.

"They have been gone for two days now, father... two days. I don't know what to think. I mean, there is no burned tree, or a handicraft or even a trace of blood. It is not like Richard. Something happened to them. I'm so worried. I'm so scared." Benny tried her best not to cry as her father stroked her hair. He sighed.

"I know gid, I know. We have to be strong. Don't you worry, we'll find them. We'll find them even if I have to search the whole forest and all the caves and villages in 50 miles radius."

The two were in the tent, and Pella was sitting outside, staring at the sky. It was a clear, nice morning. She was petting Sooba – it too, missed its master.

"Ye feel it too, huh?" she spoke to the animal.

"Something in these parts... something be going on. Something sinister." she remarked. Sooba yawned.

"I wonder if it is possible they encountered... nah, that sect was rid of long ago. There be no way, right?" she smiled to herself, feeling calmer.

"R... Richard... your f-friend is here." Cale whispered with difficulty.

But Richard did not move.

Cale turned to face Slendy, whom, even though he knew was friendly, was still kinda scared of.

"S-sorry... he's without conscious... we encountered the... the Smurfs..." Cale coughed. Slendy stood as still as a statue.

"They... can't be st-stopped... we're going to die here... please, help us."

Slendy stood still.

"Is... isn't he your friend? Please... save him at least... he would hate it, here ... too much of eh, lovely, heh heh heh..." the laughter hurt him for some reason.

Slendy still haven't moved an inch.

Cale decided the creature was maybe pondering. It did have very slow movements. Maybe it was preparing for something? Cale didn't know.

Then something very uncomfortable happened. A sounds, extremely high pitched sound was heard, and awful noise, disturbing, distorted noise. Not the sounds and being could produce. More like a sound of some hellish out-of-this-world machine.

"W-wha? Slendy? Is that you?" Richard woke up from the sound that apparently was emitted by Slendy. He turned his head, and his tired worn out face lit up.

"Slendy! Oh God, thank evilness, you need to get us out of here! How did you-"

He didn't get to finish the question because of the horde of Smurfs that suddenly busted through the door. They were roaring, literally roaring, sounding like a unity, a horrible beats from depths of Hell. Looking as equally lovely and terrifying as the last time he saw them, Richard barely managed not to scream.

"SLENDY! Run! RUN! There's no telling what they're-"

And then Richard and Cale sat back and enjoyed the show, as Slendy moved with a surprisingly, extremely fast turn, and used the numerous tentacled slithering from his suit to decapitate every single one of the smurfs who dared to enter with no effort at all. Few tentacles wrapped around Cale and Richard to carry them, and he slowly, slowly started going towards exit, brutally killing every single smurf that dared to come into his sight, and boy, these guys were as numerous as roaches. But not a single one was left alive when two hours later, Slendy brought his two friend into the day light, through the same passage they went in through first.

"AIR! OH, AIR!" Cale looked up to the Sun, enjoying the warmth it brought him. Richard was looking overwhelmed with relief.

"Slendy, I don't know how to thank you!" he sniffed as he held his friend. Slendy slowly hugged and patted him on the back, as if comforting him.

"Richard... oh my God, Richard!"

"Huh?"

"The curse! It is gone! Do you feel it? It's gone!"

"I know. Something down there triggered something-or-another, and we got rid of it." Richard mumbled out quickly. "I wish not to discuss it."

"Hell yes, we'll discuss it!"

"Well, not now anyway."

Cale approached Slendy, and with only a slight bit of effort needed, hugged the strange being. It was surprisingly soft and warm, but for some reason, he heard a the same distorted noise in the beings' chest as the one it made down in the cave – though a very quiet noise. Like a heartbeat, or breathing.

"Thank you Slendy. You're a true friend."

The being played with its tie, and this time Cale knew what it meant.

"No need to thank me. After all you saved our lives, and destroyed those pests once and for all. I wish we could do something for you."

Slendy stared at them both for a minute, trying to say something. Richard and Cale looked at each other.

"We'll do our best." they confirmed.

"CALE!"

"BENNY!"

"WARLOCK!"

"GREENSERVICE!"

"PINKY!"

"KRUNCH!"

"OLD COW!"

"YE IDIOTS!"

"PELLA!"

"MY SINGING PARTNER!"

They all shared a group hug, and the certain two shared a kiss as well.

"What happened to you guys! We were so worried!"

"Long, long story. We'll tell you everything as soon as you feed us."

"Well, you came just in time for supper!

"I need to KILL something. Tell me there are bandits or peasants nearby!"

"Well, there is a small camp to the west, not a mile away, but-"

The warlock disappeared with extreme speed.

"Oh well,let him have fun. He suffered enough."

"Tell us what happened!"

And so Cale, soon joined by bloodied Richard and a piece of meat he didn't want to question the origins of, started to tell the story. They told hem about the legendary Slendy ( "I knew it!" Krunch victoriously shook his fist ), the horrible, still living Smurf cult ( "There be more? Curse those little dwarf imitators!" ) and how the got rid of the curse.

"So how DID you get rid of it?"

"I don't know. Richard has a theory, but-"

"But nothing, I have no idea."

"- but he doesn't want to share." Cale admitted. He himsel didn't know what made the curse go away.

Krunch as a scientist wasn't happy not to find out the solution, but Pella shrugged it off.

"Who cares, the important thing be, you two be safe. To the Group!"

"To the Group!" they all cheered with glasses of fine ale and drank up. They talked and laughed long into the night, happy to be alive, well, and with no curses what so ever at least for one night. Slendy wasn't far away, hiding in between the trees as he always did, unnoticed by almost anyone who passed, seeing all, watching all. He was grateful. This day went well. He met his old friend, gained a new girly friend, and finally met someone he longed to meet so hard...

"Whatcha doin' Slendy?"

Slendy looked down. Alessius was standing beneath, with brushes in one hand, and bunch of canvases in another. He was smiling.

"Oh, your friends? Ah, I'm sure they'll come visit you again. Now that they know where you live."

Silence filled the air as Slendy conversed.

"Oh, well that's a good idea. Visiting them would probably be easier too. But not too soon – we have a project to finish. Stone Wasps ain't gonna paint itself!"

Slendy agreed.

Alessius smiled.

"I'm so glad to have actually met you. I thought those two were kidnapping me, but in fact they were trying to show me just how nice you are actually. I'm grateful to them. You're a really nice guy."

Slendy merely shrugged the statement off, and leaned his head to the side just a tad. Little. Bit.

* * *

><p>"Do you think Slendy will really put up with Alessius's project, and be able to befriend him without mercilessly stealing his memories and eating his kidneys?"<p>

"You're being silly, Cale." Richard replied as he baked another marshmallow.

"Slendy doesn't ever eat kidneys, they're too hard to chew."


End file.
